chaos of packing

i’m just wanting to say “hey!” while i’m still in the old farmhouse.

the last real work i did before the crushing job of packing for the move was all around the several clumps of ostrich ferns in my front yard. and now i see this species everywhere. also, the trees in blossom this year have been amazing. i gathered up spent maple flowers from tidelines on the driveway and made some dye. not interesting color, but the scent was amazing!

fiddlehead: ostrich fern from my farmyard

fiddlehead: ostrich fern from my farmyard

there have been so many crazinesses around this time, many days on the road dealing with doctors and surgeries (not myself) and other days of huge weariness…this is damned hard work, especially so if you are not particularly interested in organization. packing up book projects, papermaking projects, fiber stuff is in a sense rather frightening. will i ever see them again, or finish them? and does it matter?

there have been balms, dear friends keeping a supportive, kind quietness in the ethers, nearby, on the phone. and hannah was here for a glorious time, she worked so hard to help me get this together.

aimee sent this, some of her wild paper that reflects how we both are right now.

aimee sent this, some of her wild paper that reflects how we both are right now.

and yesterday the maiwa catalog came for this fall. imagine taking every single class, grad school, maiwa style.

IMG_0710.jpg

but for now, i’m here struggling to make this move. downsizing is absolutely NOT something i ever imagined i could do but i am doing it. it’s hard, impossible work, but good and right and appropriate work to do.

outside songbirds are happily singing, does are huge with their fawns, goslings are everywhere with their firece parents, and turkey vultures have taken to sitting on my fallingdownbarn. though they are ugly, stinky, big birds, they do their job well and they fly with exquisite grace. they’re welcome. i hope spring-turning-to-summer sustains you.

trying

I’m trying so hard to learn this and not doing too well.

the format may make my blogging change, but i’d like to keep doing it, because over here on squarespace you can communicate with me.

our bloodroot: sanguinaria canadensis. i’ve used the roots several times in dying, the first time i used it i dyed pulp with it. in the days when i knew not a thing about what i was doing. this little pair wandered to a new spot in my kitchen door garden, maybe started by a discarded root from a dyebath? I didn’t plant them.  you’ll see a quite possibly photoshopped photo of a snapper, newly emerged—two days ago i saw my first turtle of the year, a painted, and moved her across the road in the direction she was heading, so she can do her business. and yesterday i saw my first ruby throated hummingbird, a male, greedy and hungry, at my feeder.

our bloodroot: sanguinaria canadensis. i’ve used the roots several times in dying, the first time i used it i dyed pulp with it. in the days when i knew not a thing about what i was doing. this little pair wandered to a new spot in my kitchen door garden, maybe started by a discarded root from a dyebath? I didn’t plant them.

you’ll see a quite possibly photoshopped photo of a snapper, newly emerged—two days ago i saw my first turtle of the year, a painted, and moved her across the road in the direction she was heading, so she can do her business. and yesterday i saw my first ruby throated hummingbird, a male, greedy and hungry, at my feeder.

mother turtle

mother turtle

the last two months have been hard, with a sinus infection keeping me on the down/low, functioning below normal, with a headache, and now, three antibiotics (actually four) later (yes, i did the natural stuff, too) i am finally getting better.

the house has sold. finally really and truly.

i am packing.

and i’m a little bit crazed.

aimee made a little book using my papers, she made a second edition…the first sold out quickly.

aimee made a little book using my papers, she made a second edition…the first sold out quickly.

and k jodi gear used my papers for these paintings  out west the sky is bigger than here in the great northern forest.

and k jodi gear used my papers for these paintings

out west the sky is bigger than here in the great northern forest.

i have so much to share but so little understanding of how to use this format. i will leave you with this little bit: our bookish group went to montreal a couple weeks back, and visited st armand papaterie. heres a look:

modest entrance

modest entrance

the modest entry

one david holds an old mould

one david holds an old mould

another david pulls a sheet, the third david, the owner, was away at a wayzgoose.

another david pulls a sheet, the third david, the owner, was away at a wayzgoose.

after loft drying the paper rests before being cold pressed.

after loft drying the paper rests before being cold pressed.

denise lapointe, the other owner, left huge “shifu” hanging around.

denise lapointe, the other owner, left huge “shifu” hanging around.

another linen sign from syracuse

another linen sign from syracuse

and the last batch of kitchen papermaking, flax with indigo

and the last batch of kitchen papermaking, flax with indigo

and i’m closing now, and once i keep practicing, if i can make myself do it, i’ll be able to communicate with you all more fluently. my thanks for coming by and reading and i hope that soon it will be easy and i’ll feel like i’m having a conversation again. happy may.