highs and lows and ticks

yesterday i was carrying around a load of garbage, who knows why. it was annoying to my daughter, and to myself, but i kept it up. i asked her to photograph me spinning lokta for an article, and i hated the pics. hated them. i am too old, fat, stupid, odd, clumsy, weird. it was a hard thing to fight, and i lost the battle. today, i woke knowing i was in a better head space and that i would be ok. even when i found a tick crawling up my shirt (the first one since i lived in kentucky 30 years ago) i was fine. who knows where these demons come from? not me. i got some spinning, weaving, photos, a walk, yoga, lots done, but when i look at this thing i realize this: hannah will be leaving in a week or so for the summer. it's another change. wendy will be sad. i might be sad, too.