rumble, rumble, rumble, ta da!
well, it's in print. 
my lovely daughter hannah coached me through photoshopping this from an email pdf to a jpeg. now i'm smarter than ever, so look out! seriously it took me half an hour to learn this and she put me on speaker phone so her grad schoolmate could hear me (good thing i love you, brat) but i did it. now i will go back to what i know how to do, make paper.