not going

it seems like i just can't push
as hard as i used to.
i'm not going to cleveland.
i'm staying 
"to home"
staying put.
trying to get my energy
and harness this old gray mare 
for the next few weeks before retirement.
i am tired.
i didn't know how much,
but i am.
so with regret
i'm not going,
with joy in the staying, though.
there is a soft rain this morning.
and i've been "talking" to dear felicity
and to another dear, linda
and aimee and pam.
friends support just by their very beings.
others, some in the forms of magnificent crows
hover close.


 sometimes another person
saves you
and they don't even know it
someone knows exactly 
 what will raise the spirit
a book of images
silver, cloth, paper
(three women)
to examine, perhaps with a lens?
 your eyes
a hand lens
a sherlock style glass!
and change your seeing
 on my table
these things
join the books in process
i am happy to follow where 
the books will lead me,
even a tiny one
especially a tiny one
to wear over my heart.
thank you
yesterday friends
reached out to me
you know, sometimes you need that
more than you even imagine.
there was a bear
a drum
a hawk,
words, prayers, even,
and winter
all visited me leaving
images that keep me alive.