the phrase i woke up thinking of this morning
was this:
"it's not enough to physik a jay bird"
something my folks used to say.
they had many lovely mountain sayings that i've mostly forgotten.
i found several of the tiny things that were in the soil of this pot

shells, pebbles
knocked onto the porch one day.
and on another day i also found this one's
been in the poor old hibiscus.
my jaybird must be looking for a physik.
as i continue making paper from what's been given me,
small batches that keep me happy
and prompt book ideas,
from rag:
white-cotton/linen shirt
lavender-patagonia hemp skirt
green-cotton off cuts in many green tones from st armand 
and an accordion booklet beginning here is now complete.
flax paper
tow linen threads (20)
a few tiny greasy yellow beads
 how many times (at least 10) do i have to rinse
black walnut dyed cotton woven tape
before i can let it dry?

 and here it is on a lokta shifu square
 on the walk hunting season has begun
which makes me pay attention.
 this large doe isn't too worried. yet.
milkweed pods are splitting
after the first hard frost this week.
 red maples dance
but autumn color is late and subdued
in this strange long warm autumn.
the ticks became active after the frost.

the traffic on my walk 
 expells exhaust that doesn't make me choke.
 i need to get 
my milkweed harvest stripped and cooked
this is last years harvest
perfect for a mouse or a bird's nest.
that big bag of stalks that's waiting needs my attention
before it's so retted that 
only the birds will use it
though that is a noble use.
on this walk i was happily reminded to get to that chore soon.


this has been a doozie of a year.
so many losses.
so much sadness.
a terrible election process and a worse result.
more evidence of global warming.
and yet...
and yet...there remains 
the generosity of plants
the kindnesses of human beings
the love of our animal companions
brave people
art, and the joy of using tools. 
recently my son ian went public 
asking for financial help via gofundme.
he is hoping to pay his counseling bills.
ian's campaign came online just after amanda degener started
one for bridget o'malley (these two are Cave Paper).
bridget has had a health crisis.
these two remind me of amanda palmer
who has made a case that asking 
is ok to do.
 yesterday i went out to my meadow
and harvested milkweed in the mild winter weather
sharpened by wind.
(i remember harvesting milkweed one year on skis
the snow was knee high or so.)
last night,
unfinished though i worked seven hours stripping the bast,
i had time to ponder asking
giving, receiving,
and realize i have to rethink all of this.
 on ian's gofundme one woman donated the cost of a pack of cigarettes. 
this strikes me as generous
and sacrificial.
some friends of mine have contributed, too.
abundance shared is beautiful.
here's a photo taken out the kitchen window at the new place
i call HOME.
 and our old barn at my old place,
so loved by my kids and me continues  
returning to earth.
 one stalk of milkweed,
waiting for me, perhaps,
or a songbird next spring might 
harvest the fibers for nest making.
the generosity of plants
and i ponder gratitude.