autumn stuff

see the geese?
and here i'm wearing hannah's beautiful sweater
(knitted twice)
she says i have to smile more
hannah visited for a few days,
after a marathon and a job interview
and a long drive
first to montpelier
then to the north country.
 she's addicted to yarn,
wool mostly.
she remembers fondly my little flock
of mostly brown sheep.
 after hannah went home
i used slu's paper mill
(zone 4 paper)
where i beat thistledown fiber first
and then linen canvas.
the linen clogged the beater
and while fixing melissa found this,
 large helping of old, 
oniionized pulp.
 yuck, 
thick and light
a map of sorts of who'd been there.
 i brought home thistledown sheets
and put them into a jerry-rigged drying stack
 on the counter the thistledown 
(and that's all there is, no formation aid)
and here it is,
layered on fall prints
 and i finished off yesterday what i began 
on wednesday
 this edition of paper is exactly like it was when i made it 
without a beater, using only a blender.
a two sided sheet,
 extremely textured.
a decorative sheet, but pretty satisfying to use
north country fiber.

nerves and nose

lord peter whimsey was once described as nerves and nose
i wonder...
isn't that rather apt?
leaving the known
for the unknown
meeting expectations 
my own, for sure, but real nonetheless
and feeling, falling short.
but 
confusion and chaos
will sort themselves out.
i will be fine and happy and doing what i want to
two weeks to make my work
and a couple days to give something back to 
say thanks
and maybe see a niece or a friend
or both.
onward (at 3:30 a.m.)